I didn't think I would ever place another entry on Vic's blog but just incase anyone still looks at this from time to time I wanted you to know that I went to Addenbrookes Hospital this morning and presented ward D9 with a cheque for £3805.76. It was really hard to go on the ward and lots of tears later we had a photograph taken which I will attach to this asap.
It was so good to see the nurses who had helped Vic so much but revisiting the site of so much pain and misery was awful. I looked in the last room Vic had stayed in and the empty bed made me flash back to Vic perhaps still alive but in the toilet or the shower and due back any moment then I saw an older man sat in front of the window in the chair then i remembered Vic was gone.
I still find it so hard to believe I will never see him again although I see him in my minds eye all the time. Reading all the letters that came with the donations it seems so many other people feel the same. Even being back at work has only help compound the fact that I could, for just a minute, think that Vic was just at work a normal day in our lives him there me here just not able to see each other. On the other hand is that all death is....just not able to see each other!
I dropped into to Bradnams on the way back from the hospital and saw all the familiar faces but still no Vic!
Life has changed immeasurably but is still the mundane dirge of getting up going to work having tea and going to bed it seems even the bereaved are not spared the mundane monotony of this life. It amazes me how your own grief is so insignificant in the grand scale of things and other peoples lives. Life really does go on from the minute Vic drew his last to this minute as I write. I still say I am so very lucky though. I was married to a wonderful man who enriched my life just by being himself in it. Thats not rose tinted glasses thats the truth and for that I am truly grateful I have known just how brilliant life can be its just such a pity your arse has to hit the dirt running again.
Thank you to all who donated, if you are planning to join in the golf day that Bradnams are holding thank you for that too. Vic would have been blown away by how much generosity has been shown through this hideous ordeal. You have all been wonderful.
Susan
It was so good to see the nurses who had helped Vic so much but revisiting the site of so much pain and misery was awful. I looked in the last room Vic had stayed in and the empty bed made me flash back to Vic perhaps still alive but in the toilet or the shower and due back any moment then I saw an older man sat in front of the window in the chair then i remembered Vic was gone.
I still find it so hard to believe I will never see him again although I see him in my minds eye all the time. Reading all the letters that came with the donations it seems so many other people feel the same. Even being back at work has only help compound the fact that I could, for just a minute, think that Vic was just at work a normal day in our lives him there me here just not able to see each other. On the other hand is that all death is....just not able to see each other!
I dropped into to Bradnams on the way back from the hospital and saw all the familiar faces but still no Vic!
Life has changed immeasurably but is still the mundane dirge of getting up going to work having tea and going to bed it seems even the bereaved are not spared the mundane monotony of this life. It amazes me how your own grief is so insignificant in the grand scale of things and other peoples lives. Life really does go on from the minute Vic drew his last to this minute as I write. I still say I am so very lucky though. I was married to a wonderful man who enriched my life just by being himself in it. Thats not rose tinted glasses thats the truth and for that I am truly grateful I have known just how brilliant life can be its just such a pity your arse has to hit the dirt running again.
Thank you to all who donated, if you are planning to join in the golf day that Bradnams are holding thank you for that too. Vic would have been blown away by how much generosity has been shown through this hideous ordeal. You have all been wonderful.
Susan
1 comment:
Dear Suz,
Yes, I do still look at the blog and wish there was news of Vic getting better and the chemo working (talk about rose coloured glasses). I'm glad so much money was raised for D9 but I wish Vic could have been around to see it.
Love you loads
Wendybrit1
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