We beat the scum 2-1

What a day! From start to finish it has been an absolutely perfect day to be a Spurs supporter. I woke up this morning feeling like a 12 year old. The first thing I though about was going to Wembley and as sad as it might sound, I had nervous butterflies in my stomach. Although I tell myself it's only a game of course its far more than that!!!

9 years of living in the shadows of our London rivals but I had a good feeling about today. Bob came and picked me up at 10.00 am and to my pure delight he had bought me the latest cup final shirt which I hurriedly tore from the bag and wore with pride. God I felt good. Although I still felt tired from my illness, adrenalin and exhilaration an a canister of oxygen, helped sweep me along on a tide of emotion.

We left home at just after 10.00 I kissed Susan goodbye and she was so happy for me and she wished me the best of luck with slight concern in her face of how I was going to manage the day. Bob and I drove to Haverhill to pick up Rosemarie and John who were kind enough to drop us at the entrance to Wembley stadium so we didn't have to worry about parking. I'm glad to say from the age of 5 I have supported my beloved Spurs and it still makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up watching my idols and the whole atmosphere of Football. The seats were incredible, the view was incrediable, my feelings were incredible. It took a lot for Bob to sit with me among the Spurs fans, being an ardent Chelsea fan.

Wembley stadium is awesome, the organisation of the place is something to be proud of it made life very easy and I took my place in my wheelchair. Lets face it I would have sat on a bed pan if necessary to watch the cup final but the wheelchair was far more comfortable. A thrilling 90 minute game went into extra time and I have to admit being a bias Spurs supporter I think we honestly deserved to win the game. The old insecurities of watching Spurs were starting to haunt me thinking the times we deserved to win games but had given them away. When Jonathan Woodgate headed home Spurs second goal the Spurs end erupted, what a fantastic feeling. From that point on although there was always the niggling concern in the back of my head we went on to win the 2008 Carling Cup Final and well deserved it was. The noise of the supporters, the pure joy on all the supporters faces, including my own smug face, as I slapped Bob on the back.

The next 30 minutes were a blast from the past such a great feeling to win something again and I feel very privileged that I was able to attend this cup final. Thanks to my very dear friends at Bradnam Joinery who have gone out of their way to make life as enjoyable as it can be. Thank you all very much.

If we had of lost obviously this blog would read completely different because I would have been feeling incredible guilty for abusing Bob in every possible way I could have done. But hey today life is good.

I tried to download the video I took at the game of Spurs fans going mad and Bob standing there with a very miserable look on his face but Bob you will be glad to know I couldn't do it!!

The journey home was fine Bob got us home in no time and back home by about 8.30. As I write this blog, although tired, I feel like I did this morning, a 12 year old in a sweet shop.

Happy Birthday Ledley (he was a good omen after all)

Heartfelt Thanks

Thanks to everyone for the overwhelming response for our plea for drivers, which is very much appreciated. As soon as we know when I can go, I shall get in contact with you.

I have been saving all my energy this week for the big event tomorrow. Very much looking forward to going to the cup final where I hope to see Tottenham Hotspur outclass a dodgy Chelsea side. All the signs point to a win especially as our dog, Ledley, has his 1st birthday tomorrow. I could be a very happy man tomorrow or I could be ignoring the pathetic comments of my mate Bob all the way home, that's if he's still standing after a blow to the head with my portable oxygen cylinder.

The week has had it's ups and downs. The long days take their toll I try to refrain from sleeping during the day so I can maintain my sleep pattern during the night. The worst part of the day is between six and ten for some reason. It's when I feel most tired and agitated. With any illness it seems to be the evening which is the worst. Poor Susan seems to cop the worst part of the day when I am at my most miserable, but she still smiles at me and does everything she possibly can. Inside she must be thinking "you arse" because I am not a good patient (love you Susan). As far as my general condition is concerned I feel pretty good. The pain seems to be under control again and my brother Rod has even managed to ask a top Japanese cancer specialist to look at my case notes and see if the best of the best in Japan can come up with any ideas. I have so many people helping me and giving me support I'm sure I can kick the arse out of this. I am going back to Addenbrookes on Monday to be marked up for my Radiotherapy. Will be interesting to see if the Radiotherapy has a quicker effect than the chemo.

Saturday has been a lovely day, I enjoy the days when Susan doesn't have to work. They actually feel like normal days where we just carry on doing what most people do. It was nice to have my sister Diana and her partner Chris over for lunch. We had a very pleasant afternoon just chatting.

Last night was encouraging, Susan managed to persuade me to go for a walk, which is something I have been reluctant to do, but we managed to walk our dog Ledley to the heath and back. It was probably only about a mile and a quarter and I did have to have a rest when we got to the park while Susan let Ledley off the lead. It was a very slow walk back but I did it and it helped me sleep so it's something I'll try again soon. (that sounds so boring but its such an achievement for me).

Glory, Glory Tottenham Hotspur

A Better Day than I Thought

Another day spent in the oncology dept at Addenbrookes Hospital. More scans, bloods, x rays etc but I wont bore you with those details. I'll have to go for a vein transplant soon as they keep colapsing. Saw Dr Haba today and he has finally decided the way forward is a 2 and a half week course of Radiotherapy. The chemo seems to have slowed the tumour growth down but not stopped it and hasn't worked as much as he would have liked so he thinks radiotherapy will be the hard hit it needs.

The last few days have been difficult. I have been feeling very sick although I am taking handfuls of anti sickness tablets but it could be due to the four courses of antibiotics I have been taking every day for a week. The acute tiredness is still a problem and even writing this is a struggle as my brain just cannot cope sometimes.

Its very important I keep myself in peak physical condition this week as this Sunday is the big day. My beloved Spurs are on the verge of great things again I can't wait to see my mate Bob stuck with all the Spurs supporters wearing a Chelsea shirt at least I can console myself that if Spurs do loose he'll get a good kicking (joke).

I desparately want to go to the game but it is all in the lap of the Gods and just pray I can stay well enough to make it.

My sense of humour seems to have escaped me this week. Susan and I are just so tired too tired to joke and laugh without effort. Simple things make us laugh like the amount of effort it takes for me to have a pooh and the Tesco employee who rammed my car with a trolly trying to get between my car and hers through a gap an ant would have struggled to get through. When challanged had total amnesia as to the fact she had done it and if it wasn't for the fact I have the lung capacity of a newt I would have got out of the car and slapped her. Then I wonder why we run out of energy to laugh.

I want to thank my dear Susan because she takes time off work, drives me everywhere and never complains and only gets upset when she thinks I can't see her.

To all those people who have offered their help I wondered if I might now call those offers in. The Radiotherapy is every day for 2 and a half weeks excluding weekends but only lasts for a few minutes each time. I wondered if anyone would have the spare time during the week to give me a lift to Addenbrookes and home. My car is available to use from here and on sunny days we can put the roof down! Susan can't take time out every day and nor can her mum and apart from them I don't have anyone else to take me. The hospital transport is very hit and miss and takes several patients at a time and I just can't stay awake long enough to be able to use it.

I thought maybe I could work out a system for those willing and able and maybe each person may only have to do one trip in the two weeks. We don't know the dates or times yet but let me know if you can help me and we can work something out. I hope you don't think we are being cheeky but as everyone has been so helpful and offered so much help we thought we could ask.

I feel I have had a better day today than I thought I was going to which makes me happy.

This is me with my new hairdo having an oxygen fix. Haven't quite lost all my hair yet. After watching it slide down the plug hole and blocking it, it was time to change my image. Hope the girls at JJ Burgess don't change their opinion (read the comments on the last update) as my smouldering good looks have taken a bit of a slide recently! Really wanted to post a picture for my brother Rod so he can see how I look.

Suffering with a bit of sickness today but on a happier note five days without a bowel movement was rectified to the extreme which allowed me to finish "my bookie wookie" by Russell Brand.

Just a quick update today more as it happens!

Home at last

At last I came home on Friday evening. Was feeling much better in the morning and really ready to go home. The Drs came and saw me following their meeting with colleagues at Papworth but decided they didn't want to do anything until I have had my next scheduled scan on 18th February. They decided I was too comprimised at the moment to be able to cope with more treatment and want me to have a rest and be as well as possible before they start again.

Having been kicked out of bed at 2.30 I then had to wait at Addenbrookes pharmacy until 6.30 to be allowed to take my controlled drugs after having them signed off by a nurse. Susan picked me up and we made our way home. I felt pure elation to get out of the hospital but really tired. We got home but obviously the days events had taken their toll on my weak frame and after a shaking fit and a good old blast on my oxygen (any takers are welcome to Knettishall Heath Oxygen Bar for pure oxygen on tap 24/7) I went to bed exhausted but happy to be in my own bed at last.

I woke up to the beautiful sunshine on Saturday morning all on my own with no nurse shaking me or crazy fellow patients shouting they had a bottle stuck up their bottom!! Just the peacefulness of the countryside and the birds and the snowdrops. It was a good weekend to be released. The perfect day started with the perfect omlete. Whilst eating the perfect omlete 2 cup final tickets were delivered courtesy of my Bradnam Joinery collegues to whom I am eternally grateful. We had a wander around our garden in the warm sunshine and then I drove the short distance to the Heath and sat with Susan, her mum and Ledley and had a short picnic. I drove back as the sun was setting and settled down for the evening.

Unfortunately the shaking of the previous night returned whilst I had visitors which cut the evening short while I hooked up to my oxygen and scared my vistors 5 year old half to death. I embarrased myself further by talking about how my trainers were really nice and that I'd only worn them once!! Confusing this poor child even further he asked if he could catch what I had!! It seems oxygen, the cold and my morphine make a recipe for disaster on the talking bollocks front!

However, I went to bed early having had a wonderful first day out. Sunday saw an equally beautiful day warm and sunny again. I didn't feel quite as strong as the day before and had to put visitors off. Susan had to go to Gorleston Crematorium with forms and I decided a ride out would eliviate boredom without having to think, speak, drive or stay awake. It was a lovely day for a drive and had a sleep on the way home. Upon our return a couple of friends came to visit but I couldn't stay awake and fell asleep while they were here. Never mind they understand how hard this is for me.

Susan and I went to her mums for tea, after which I had another 2 hour power nap and awoke in time to go home. The shakes started again but I was ready for them this time with my trusty fleece blanket that my brother Mick and sister in law gave me for our Wedding. What a god send that blanket has been. Good choice! I took all my drugs including the injection in my stomach for the clot and went to bed knackered again.

What an exhausting existance I have. In summary I have been off work for 3 months, other than the illness, boredom is the biggest factor. It is important to motivate myself to do things but the lack of energy and strength make life a struggle. The overwhelming support from my family and friends and my wife keep me going beyond belief. It's nice to know people are reading this blog thank you to everybody.

Still Inside!

Sorry it's still the ghost writer. Vic is now on day 6 of his spell on the inside! Its been a real roller coaster visit this time. It has felt just like it did when we were first told Vic had cancer. The Dr we saw on his admission on Friday decided the pain Vic was still having in his ribs could be due to secondary Cancer in his bones, which is often where lung cancer produces secondaries. Vic had his scan, which he absolutely hates being that he is very claustrophobic, on Monday. After an agonising evening's wait they finally told him on Tuesday morning that the scan was clear but the reason for the large amount of pain is due to ALL his ribs being broken on that side and most of them in several places. Ouch!

I have to say just to be told there were no secondaries meant we couldn't actually care less if he had no ribs at all! Dr Gilligan and his team couldn't decide if the chemo has actually been working and being that Vic's tumour is quite unusual, as it would be, they have sent their findings to another team at Papworth and will give their decision as to the next course of treatment on Friday so no chemo today but they may replace chemotherapy with radiotherapy. They discovered Vic is anaemic again so he will be having another blood transfusion tonight.

Otherwise, apart from being so very tired, Vic is slowly feeling better, eating more and keeping his fluids up himself. When he gets parole we will post Vic's thoughts of his incarceration especially his version of events and his cellmates on his ward.

Ghost Writer

Hi to you all, sorry you have the ghost writer today, ie her indoors!

Unfortunately the shit hit the fan this week so Vic is not able to write this himself. As his ghost writer I am filling you all in whats going on.

Vic had his chemo on Wednesday but wasn't feeling particularly good. The Dr had already offered him a blood transfusion and decided Wednesday was as good a day as any to give it to him. Vic had 2 pints of blood and seemed to be feeling quite good. By Thursday he wasn't quite so perky and by Thursday night felt horrible. But Vic being Vic soldiered on until 5.30 of Friday morning and then decided he needed to call the hospital.

To cut a long story short he was admitted back to Addenbrookes on good old D9 with a rip roaring lung infection and a blood clot in his lung. Today sees him off the oxygen and holding his own with a constant IV of antibiotics and fluids. Hes having blood test and scans galore.

After seeing him tonight he seemed more himself, rather than the grumpy old man I took to hospital Friday morning. He's exhuasted and fed up but otherwise just happy to be in safe hands and no pain.

Hopefully the heparin injections will disperse the clot and the infection should be under control soon and he can come home. Fingers crossed he can have the chemo on Wednesday again as planned.

How bloody horrible this bloody disease is. Why is it always the nice people?

Anyway, thanks to you all for reading this, we love reading the comments, it helps to know people are interested and the good wishes do help us. Thanks for being there.